You heard it here first, folks. The boys and girls in blue that patrol New York City don’t have an eye in their heads between them. Anyone with a brain could see I’m a good citizen and a good driver, but did they take my word for it? Of course not!
Then again, what did I expect in a big city, competence? I’m starting to think the local handyman who scratched up my cabinets while fixing a leak has a little more about him than this.
Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself. Why would I even have bothered with New York City? Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice. Sometimes, your past really comes back to bite you, which meant I was stuck visiting, ugh, family.
A Family Reunion
You’d think the people that raised someone so cultured and refined would have any sense in their heads, but you’d be wrong, obviously. No, my family is full of air-headed fools who couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag. Really, is it any wonder I braved the wilds of LA? There’s a reason I picked the far side of the country to settle, no matter how ridiculous the price of housing and basic utilities are.
I thought about not showing up. Do they really deserve my presence? Of course not. However, if I didn’t go, they’d miss out on their sneering and whining about my “bad attitude” and how I “keep touching all the food” and “scaring the kids.”
I don’t know what they expect me to do, as much as the nasty little things keep trying to bother me.
So, I was roped into going to their stupid little party, where they’ll all spend hours trying to impress each other with their big cars and snot-nosed kids. It’s less like a family reunion and more like a county fair, blue ribbons all around. I was nearly there, too, when I was pulled over and fined.
Dealing with a Speeding Ticket
Naturally, I wasn’t in any hurry to get to the reunion. I would have skipped it entirely, even, but if I have to be miserable, at least I can share it. Then, just as I was heading down the highway, nearly there, I saw the blue lights.
I rolled my eyes and pulled over. I mean, it just doesn’t get better than this, does it? The officer tried to play goody-two-shoes with me, but I wasn’t having it. How my day was going was no business of his.
Of course, I didn’t think too much about it until I got a shock. He said he had pulled me over for speeding!
Now, believe me, I had every reason in the world not to speed, so clearly this was an error on his part, and I bet any Long Island speeding ticket lawyer worth paying for would agree. Still, I couldn’t talk the officer out of it, so here I am with a ticket.
There’s only one good thing that’s come out of the ticket, really. Now, I have every reason to avoid the reunion and focus on my ticket. In fact, I paused long enough to find the first lawyer I could and head there. Sorry, Mom, but you already promised all your money to the other kids anyway. The favoritism is really out of hand, but that’s fine by me. That just means I don’t have to pick out her nursing home.
So, now I’m stuck, thanks to some cop trying to meet his ticket quota, and now I’ll be in the city even longer. Great, I definitely wanted to get stuck in a legal battle to prove that some officer was wrong. Maybe next week they’ll arrest me and really round out a bad vacation all-around.