Noisy Neighbors, Noisier Divorce

I’m finally back home, and surprise surprise, the neighbors haven’t changed one bit. I had high hopes that maybe they would have all snuck out and moved while I was gone, but no such luck. I’m still stuck with them, it seems, and they were even all smiley about my return, asking me about my trip. 


Worst of all, things are just as troubled in paradise as always. This time, though, they’re more vocal and obnoxious than ever. 

I’m starting to wonder if maybe striking out on my own into the wilds of the forest would suit me better. 

The Problem Neighbors 

Now, I myself like to think I’m a pretty respectful neighbor. No brats running around my yard, no pets, no noisy TVs, and so on. I even keep my lawn trimmed to HOA standards, though it looks like I’m the only one. 

Of course, some neighbors are worse than others. I understand all that, but could they keep it down a little? They don’t even have brats to fight over, so I really don’t see what the big deal is. 

Naturally, though, it’s all hours of the night. They used to be the most lovey-dovey couple on the street (again, ugh), but now, it’s basically silence over there, unless they’re yelling at each other. Finally, even my other neighbors started agreeing with me. 

“Are you seriously hashing all this out at two in the morning?” You basically read my mind, buddy. 

The Next Steps

Not that I mind more people moving out, but honestly, these two have me thinking about moving, too. Worse, the lady is military personnel or something, and the rest are worried about how that’s going to drag out. 

Fortunately, I know this military divorce attorney, who cleared up a couple things. “Because  they’re both in the states, filing will be faster. While they might drag out the case in court over property, getting a divorce will be easier because neither are currently deployed.”

It’s barely a comfort, but it’s something, I suppose. At least there’s reason to believe that this isn’t just the rest of my life, right? 

Of course, I’m sure they’ll be replaced by some family or something. It’s never just a nice, quiet person who will keep their nose in their own business. Nope, they either get in my business, or they air out theirs for everyone to hear. Sometimes, you just can’t win. 

What Happens Next

I’m writing this at about six in the morning, since I like to get up early while no one else is up to bother me, and they are still going after each other. See, this is exactly why I never got married. I can barely stand people living next to me. Having someone in my space, breathing my air? Thanks, but no thanks. 

Honestly, I’m thinking about just moving. Maybe somewhere away from any cities, definitely away from these little suburban areas. The convenience just doesn’t outweigh the trouble of dealing with everyone else’s relationship drama. 

So, next time you hear from me, I’ll probably be packing up and moving on. Maybe I’ll even be out of here before backyard barbeque season starts in earnest.